#WWRMG: Ljubljana, Slovenia

Rachel, I dream of taking you away from all this to some quaint enchanted town with a castle and river views. Logic says we can’t; we’ve got deadlines and commitments and a cat to be ignored by. But darn it all, Rach, that world will be here when we get back! We must seize this day and the 5 to 6 days after it to live in the moment, frolicking in a foreign land and unconsciously humming the score from the Sound of Music while skipping hand in hand. I’ve got two tickets to former-Soviet republic paradise.

Ljubljana is the place for our fairytale gaycay. First, its very name suggests a lesbian pleasure cruise with an engagingly perky tour guide. On the Euro and nestled in the center of Slovenia, which is itself nestled in the center of Southern Europe, its a scrubbed-clean version of its former brethren that made up the late, great Yugoslavia. Let us settle down in the center of town in a tile-roofed hotel with a view of the river (or possibly the amazingly named Hotel Mons). Let us rent their little bicycles for less than a Euro and peddle across the city’s many bridges, or down to the lovely botanical garden . Let us buy locks and vow our love forever by locking them around the sides of the transparent Butcher’s Bridge and hurling the keys into the river. Let us stroll hand in hand through the farmer’s market and buy fruit from wrinkled crones who speak 4 languages. Let us get deliciously fresh, unpasteurized dairy from a freakin’ vending machine. I can see the montage already…

Rachel, I want to race you up the hill to the city’s castle at daybreak, but I won’t because I will be too exhausted from our night out in the amazingly packed and ridiculous club scene at the graffitied hole-in-the-wall complex. Instead, I will stroll up the mountainside and enjoy a shockingly delicious and reasonably priced lunch at the castle restaurant, with views of the whole town. Maybe we’ll go to a museum. Maybe we’ll sit in a park. Probably we’ll sip wine mixed with fanta along the riverside while watching boats and tourists crawl around the city. We’ll play a varsity level game of Gay or European? before dining out at one of Slovenia’s trendiest restaurants.

Every fairytale requires a daring escape from the city and flight through the countryside. Our little Euro convertible will whisk us to Lake Bled, where we can row our boat around the crystal lake, pausing at the island in the middle to gaze at the surrounding Julian Alps. Tuesday will find us spelunking in Skocjan caves, Wednesday its wine tasting in Brda. Thursday we can paraglide or mountain bike, kayak or toboggan. Because its about the size of New Jersey, we can explore every corner of this mountainous marvel and return to big city comforts each night.
Come away with me, Rach. The rat race is getting you down and I’m starting to see a little gray at the temple. You need a gaycay, and Ljubljana is just an international flight away.

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